2002-02-28 - 3:45 p.m.

newestI have never been into Easter, even when I was a child. I guess the whole idea of killing a man and he comes back to life was too creepy for me. Isn't that what Zombie movies are for? I'm not even into Peepers, which seems like I'm the only one in the world who isn't (P.S. I hate candy corn, too).

Two days ago I found the greatest Easter present to give anyone: Cluckers, the incredible pooping chicken. First, like any chicken in a farm yard, you wrench her head off. Then you put 5 colorful egg-shaped bubble gum in his neck. (The package says that you can use jelly beans as well. Wind her up and watch them come flying out of his ass! Okay, so she's supposed to be laying them. But, what chicken lays eggs as she's strolling around?

I just thought I could spread the joys of this year's Easter and recommend a fascinating and possibly educational toy for your youngsters.

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